The benefits to learning you're on the spectrum

Once I discovered I had Asperger's, it's like a light bulb went on in my head. I finally had a name to put to why I've always been different (and gladly so), have had certain challenges, and interpret the world the way I do. It was great to gain this insight into myself.

For the next 4 years, I researched everything I could find about Asperger's. I realized that I HAD to be on the spectrum; it just made so much sense! After several online tests, lists of traits, and personal accounts of other Aspies, I decided to get the answer I was looking for: an official diagnosis.

After a series of three interview-like appointments with the same psychologist who had diagnosed me with ADHD six years earlier, and questionnaires completed by my parents and myself, voila! It was determined I AM indeed on the spectrum! What a relief it was to finally confirm what I had been suspecting for so long.

Once I got this answer, I could put my questions to rest. I had that certainty I so longed for. This also meant that nothing had changed about me as a person; I had ALWAYS been an Aspie, it's just that now I knew this for sure! Then began the journey of self-discovery and learning more and more, which I'm in the process of at the moment. It's been a very rewarding journey, and I look forward to continuing to learn and help others along the way!

Functioning Labels

I'm sure you've heard the terms "high" or "low" functioning before. While people may use them only intending to describe the level one operates at, they can be very misleading and ableist. I'll do something here I've seen a few times:

Zoey, 31, received her Bachelor's in Social Work. She holds both a full-time and relief position working with people who have mental illness and developmental disabilities. Zoey has an active social life, spending time with her friends and family. She considers herself a mediator, as keeping the peace is a strength of hers.

Max, also 31, still lives with her parents who provide her with a lot of moral support. She struggles to manage money, having difficulty budgeting. Max feels that she is at a turning point in life, in a developmental stage similar to that of a teenager. She is not sure just what she wants out of life and is trying to find her path.

Now, looking at the two above stories, you'd probably assume that Zoey operates at a "high" functioning level and Max on a "low" functioning level. The truth is, if you haven't figured out already, Zoey and Max are both facets of me :) The point of this all is to prove that functioning labels are not always accurate, as one can be BOTH "high" and "low" functioning, in varying areas. Everyone is created unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses. One may excel in living independently and struggle with social relations, while another may still be getting their footing on independence, but be a social butterfly....sound familiar? ;) The next time you hear someone using functioning labels, remind yourself that there is a lot more to a person than meets the eye!

Work, work, work!

What a busy weekend! I worked my second job on Saturday and Sunday from 8a-4p. All in all, it was a good weekend :)

How are your jobs all going?

Positivity

In light of all the negativity I've been expressing over the past few days, I'd like to shed some positive light!

1) I make mistakes, yet I can learn from them. It doesn't have to happen a second time, and even if it does, I'm only human.
2) I'm conscientious. I take care to try to do things correctly with the best of intentions.
3) I enjoy helping people. While things can be stressful, at the end of the day, I'm happy to be making an impact on the lives of others!
4) Life is good. I have friends and a family who care about me very much, and support and understand me.
5) I have a unique operating system, and have been programmed with gifts that when harnessed, can bring great things to the world!
6) It's summer. That one's self-explanatory :)
7) I have things that I'm very passionate about, and put lots of effort into.
8) I love animals, and they love me back!
9) It's already Wednesday.
10) When I weigh the pros and cons life gives me, the pros always outweigh the cons.

There you have it, 10 things that make me happy today! Spread the joy :)

#aspieproblems and crummy days

Everyone has those days they wish they could fast forward through. Add to that the Aspie caveats of literal thinking and not thinking of things that cone to others with seemingly no effort. It makes for one crazy day!

Yesterday, I had to do a move for work. The movers were supposed to show up at 11am. Well, it got to be almost 1pm, and there was no sign of them. I called the moving company, and they said that since they had tried to contact the person I was helping to confirm and couldn't reach them because their phone had already been turned off, they hadn't sent anyone over. I immediately felt that it was my fault, as it never dawned on me to give them the person's CELL number or my own number, when I had arranged the move two weeks earlier. It should have come to mind that their phone was going to be shut off, naturally because it was being switched to their new place. But do I think of things like that? Of course not.

The move ended up being pushed until the end of the day, only their truck broke down and my person had to wait until this morning. I felt so at fault, like such a failure. Why don't things just occur to me that seem to occur to everyone else? I was feeling really down about this. After venting to Facebook friends, my best friend, my parents and my brother, I felt a lot better. They reminded me not to set myself up for failure by beating myself up. They encouraged me to tell myself I can do it!

I must realize and take ownership of the the fact that things are going to be a little harder for me than many others. It's part of the way I'm hardwired. Rather than let it get me down, though, I need to use it to make myself stronger, and chalk instances like these up as learning experiences. I may not have thought to give the cell number this time, but I'll surely never forget next time! I also need to recognize where I need help and go about asking for it. With the right supports, I can do anything! I'm Aspie Strong :)

Putting your foot in your mouth

A lot of times, I've found that I've said something with no ill intent, only to find out I've inadvertently offended someone. This has to be one of the worst feelings ever. I hate stepping on toes and bothering people.

Sometimes I'll comment with my opinion on things, unaware that I'm coming across in a judgemental manner. I know this happens often as an Aspie. I'll simply state how I feel about something, forgetting that it may actually pertain to someone listening to or reading the conversation.

I realize that I must take ownership of my opinions, and that I need to slow down and think about what I'm saying before I say it. I need to make it clear that how I feel are MY feelings, and add that others may disagree and that's ok. It will save people a lot of drama, and possible arguments! I'm learning more every day :)

Could they be an Aspie?

Someone asked me a question earlier. They think someone they know may be on the spectrum, and asked me to describe the difference between someone with Asperger's and someone without (often referred to as NT, or allistic). That gave me the idea to write this blog!

In a nutshell, there are several traits that Aspies display that are not always present in non-Aspies. For example, we stim, from fidgeting to sometimes even rocking and flapping, and everything in between. We interpret the world very literally and may not be able to read between the lines. We are often honest and genuine, and forget that the rest of the world isn't always the same way towards us. We usually have sensory sensitivities ranging from very mild to extreme. There are plenty additional traits, but I figured I'd highlight a few of the common ones.

An Aspie isn't always easy to spot. Heck, I flew under the radar for almost 31 years, after all! We may appear as an NT to those around us, but once you get to know us, you start to notice differences, whether subtle or obvious.

My main purpose for writing this blog is with hope of educating people who are questioning whether or not someone they know is on the spectrum. Hopefully this answers some questions. I'm always willing to contribute my experiences, so if you have any questions, ask away! :)