Autism is Pervasive/One of Many Parts to a Whole

A good friend reminded me of the importance of not letting autism define me, but rather to not lose sight of everything that makes me who I am. After much contemplation, I've come to a conclusion on how I feel about this.

I am more than autism, BUT....it is a pervasive aspect of who I am which defines me in many ways. On the other hand, it is one of many parts to a whole. Not only am I autistic, but I am also an animal lover, friend, sister, daughter, Sonic fanatic, geek...the list goes on.

The thing is, autism greatly shapes me into who I am. It's because I'm autistic that I am ME. It is the reason I have no shame in my game. It's why I am content with who I am regardless of what everyone else is doing. It makes me unique, complete with my own operating system. Perhaps it's why I love video games so much and could care less about things like my appearance.

I'm the same person I was before receiving a diagnosis. I've always been everything that makes me up, including autistic. I'm just now aware of this. I've gotten answers to why I've always been a little "different," and quite frankly, I'm proud of who I am!

Learning more and more every day

As I look back on the last two and a half months since my diagnosis, I realize I'm learning more and more about myself. I think the most significant thing is that my parents seem to have a better understanding of me.

For one, my dad always used to seem to be in a rush for me to grow up. I tried to convince him for years that the things my peers were interested in and doing did not come naturally to me; I was still at a developmentally younger age. After these years of stating and restating my point, and finally getting an Asperger's diagnosis, he seems to get that this is the way I am, and that it's ok! I most likely will never be interested in things typical of my peers. I've acted young for my age as long as I can remember.

My parents have more patience with me. They now realize that I don't forget to put things away on purpose. I don't intentionally misunderstand their directions. They know that my brain processes information differently. I'm thankful that they've allowed me to educate them on autism and what it means, and that they're willing to learn!

Let It Go!

Now that the overly cliché title of a song from a certain frigid movie has gotten everyone's attention, I'd like to chat about letting things go. As a spectrumite with comorbid OCD, it's not an easy task do so when something is bothering me! This used to happen to me while in school A LOT. To the point where I'd worry about seemingly trivial things for a week at a time.

Take something as simple as a friend doing something out of character. Something they always said they wouldn't be caught dead doing, such as wearing a type of clothing they previously wouldn't have, or becoming interested in something they never cared for. One day, they come to school, wearing said clothing. Now, clothes are superficial, and really don't matter. However, it's the principle of the situation. All of a sudden your friend is acting different in even a subtle way. You jump to conclusions and worry that they're going to totally change on you, and obsess about it for the rest of that week. You try to do your homework, and thoughts keep hindering you. You sit in class, and find your mind drifting to that situation. You can't help but try to analyze it, to make sense of it. It doesn't seem rational to you. This causes you distress. Finally, after either time to process it has passed, or something reassures you that everything is going to be okay, you can let it go. It just isn't always easy. It might take you asking said friend a million questions to get that little switch in your mind to flip that lets you know everything is going to be ok. In the process, you may drive people crazy! I'm pretty sure I've done my share of that :)

The main thing is figuring out what you can do to be able to let go of your worries. Whether time or reassurance is your method of operation, find out what is, become familiar with it, and just do it! You will save yourself LOTS of stress and wasted time. It took me a long time to be able to move on from my worries, and I still get stuck on thoughts from time to time, but I've gotten a lot better at it. Does anyone else find themselves stuck in this rut?

What I've been up to...

Well, if I want to keep this thing going, I actually have to write, right? :P What have I been up to since I last posted? Let's see...I had SCIP and CPR training for my relief job last week. What's SCIP, you ask? It stands for strategies for crisis intervention and prevention, and it utilizes both proactive crisis prevention methods and physical restraints for when a crisis escalates. It was exhausting, but it's over with now! It's nothing I haven't taken before; I've been in the developmental disabilities field for 10 years (yikes, already?).

My full-time job in mental health is going well. All my peeps are doing well, and things have been pretty low key. I helped one of them clip her cat's claws yesterday after we got back from the grocery store. Once his claws were clipped, he proceeded to investigate the shopping bags and give them a good licking!

I've been chilling and playing my video games as usual, and staying active on all my Aspie groups on Facebook. I'm glad spring is finally here! :)

Reflection

Wow, this month flew by FAST. I can't believe it's already the last day of Autism Awareness month! It's actually kind of sad....*tear* Anyway, moving on :) I feel that I've succeeded in my goal for the month: to raise awareness and teach people some things they might not have known about the spectrum! I've successfully written a blog each day.  I've had people coming to me with questions and for advice about either themselves or others in their life. I feel nothing but awesome about this. I did it! I'm so blessed and thankful for everyone that hit that like button or left a comment.  You've all shown me that this truly is my passion. I'm glad to have helped anyone I have, and I want to thank everyone who has been a part of it. I want to leave you all with this: my message box is ALWAYS open if you need ANYTHING. Feel free to stop by anytime! I'm also going to keep this blog running, so feel free to drop by thepiecesfit83.blogspot.com if you're interested in some more anecdotes or stories about my experience :)

Aspie moments

I'd like to take things on a humorous note today and talk about what I call "Aspie moments." You know, those times when my response to something is so literal it's uncanny! Here goes:

- A conversation between a girl and myself at 13:

Girl: my friend stabbed me in the back.

Me: what did she stab you with?

- My coworker describing a situation in which his daughter was misbehaving at home:

Coworker: I'm going to call my wife to see what the temperature is like in the house.

Me: *about to ask what the temperature in the house has at all to do with her behavior*.....*dawns on me that he is referring to her behavior*......oh, I see what you mean now.

- Another coworker and myself talking about a cat recuse organization:

Me: Ten Lives Club actually has cat houses for them to run free in rather than cages.

Coworker: hehe....cat house

Me: *crickets chirp*

Coworker: you do know what a cat house is, right?

Me: um....no?

- Me at 4 or so when my grandpa was opening his presents:

Grandpa: *sarcastically before opening present* I wonder what this is?

Me: *knowing what's inside - car wash certificates* it's a book of car washes!

Lol....there's plenty more, but I don't want this to go on for hours! I've had many a moment like these with family, friends and coworkers. My brother calls me Sheldon a lot hehe :) Hope you enjoyed, and feel free to share your own!

Self Discovery

My journey since diagnosis has been one of self discovery. I've always known who I am, however I've learned so much more about myself! Ten years ago, I had never even heard the word "Asperger's" much less knew it had anything to do with me. I knew I was a little different, didn't fit society's norms, and was perfectly ok with it.

Once I learned I was on the spectrum and later diagnosed last month, I've dedicated myself to spreading the word. I now realize that there's a reason for all of my differences. It's really pretty cool. It's like I have a different t operating system than the majority; I'm an Android in a world of iPhones :) Can you tell I'm an Android fiend?

I've learned just how wide the spectrum is, and what autism once meant to me has taken on a totally new meaning. I once had the impression that it meant someone who was in their own world, shut off from the rest. I now realize that this isn't true. I realize that it means something much different. It means talents. It sometimes means challenges, but strength to overcome them. It means me.

I hope to continue to keep learning more and more about myself, how I can work around my challenges and capitalize on my strengths. I'm becoming aware of these things and enjoy reading more about them. Through it all, the best part is when I know I've helped someone else. It feels great to know I'm making a difference!