Thursday, November 27, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

As this day begins, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for. I have an awesome and caring family, great friends, and a job I love. However, this year, Thanksgiving takes on a special meaning. This year I'm especially thankful for getting my Asperger's diagnosis and discovering some of the missing pieces that make up who I am.

I now know more about myself than ever before. Why I've always been fussy with tastes and textures. Why, despite trying to play with the other kids, something didn't always seem to click. Why I've always been a little "different," and not cared what anyone thought.

I know why jokes often go over my head. Why things take on a literal meaning before anything else. Why I sometimes don't get the point of what others are trying to say, and I can't seem to get mine across, either.

I also know that all of this has allowed me to be me. It fuels my passion for the things I love, such as Sonic the Hedgehog and the Android operating system. I can be myself without shame; others' opinions don't phase me. I have a natural gift for working with electronics. I have a child-like innocence and zest for life that I wouldn't trade for anything.

While I've always known these things about myself, I now have an official REASON for them. I consider it a gift; my own personal operating system. So this Thanksgiving, I'd like to say that I'm grateful to have found answers and gained introspect! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


Well, it sure has been an interesting day. Buffalo, NY got clobbered with snow! There's probably close to 5 feet out there now, and it's not showing any signs of letting up anytime soon.

It started last night. My dad drove me into work, as he has a truck with 4WD. The snow was only up to about a foot at that time. I worked the overnight as I normally do, and it just kept dumping and dumping. Every few hours, I went to shovel the porch (or as much as I could with herniated discs!) and every time I went out, there was a nice new mound on the porch. By morning, it was up to my chest! I had to meet my assistant manager halfway in the front yard and then we both turned around and went back through the path I created, just so she could get to the house! At one point I fell to my knees and almost had a panic attack, because I didn't think I'd be able to get back up! I've never walked through such deep snow in my life!

I'm now still at work, as there's a travel ban, and my dad said our street has yet to be plowed. I spent the majority of the day snoozing on the couch in the basement, to recharge for tonight's overnight. That couch is comfy, and I slept like a baby :)

As if we hadn't gotten enough already, there's supposed to be another wave tomorrow morning! Yikes! Maybe tomorrow I'll finally get to go home. We shall see! This will sure make for an interesting story for many years to come :)

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Need to Vent

There's something that I need to blow off some steam about. Recently, in one of the autism groups I belong to on Facebook, particularly a support group for parents, I've seen some comments I find quite disturbing. Now, I joined this group to give parents the perspective of an autistic person in the hopes that they could use it to apply to life with their own children. However, as of late, I've seen it stated multiple times that someone HATES autism.

I have a problem with this. People are comparing autism to a disease, such as cancer, which it is not. They claim that it "robs" their child of who they "could have been," it causes their child to "miss out on things" and so on. The thing is autism is a way of being. It is a facet of who a person is, and should be accepted as part of the whole. That's not to say is doesn't make things difficult at times; it does, but LIFE is difficult sometimes. Don't put the blame on autism. They make arguments such as "well, I'll never see my child go to prom or play soccer." Well, what if the child doesn't WANT to do those things, anyway? I never went to prom, and I have no regrets. What did I "miss out on?" A lot of money spent and a night of boredom. I rest my case. That, and maybe their child WILL be able to do those things, after all! Let them be who THEY are, not who you want them to be.

Yet parents are telling me that my view is wrong, and fighting tooth and nail to defend their stance that autism is something deserving of hate. I'm told I'm wrong for accepting who I am an embracing it. That I must be "high functioning" to be able to have such a conversation. How am I wrong for encouraging people not to hate a part of their child, and to try to convince them to reframe their thinking? I tell them things such as "a child who is nonverbal has other methods of communicating, and perhaps they can show you love in ways you never thought possible." I get beaten down and told that I'm "telling people how to feel," yet they seem to think it's fine and dandy to tell an autistic person that they have a right to hate something that it a part of that autistic person's identity. Pretty backwards, huh? I just don't get it. No, THEY don't get it.

To sum it all up, hate is a very strong word. Hate that your child has struggles. Hate that the world isn't accepting of them. Hate that others are so narrow-minded as to not be willing to understand them, but don't hate autism. No one asks to have it, but for those who have been dealt it, they and all parts of them are just as deserving of love as the next person. You wouldn't say you hate your child's blue eyes or freckles, would you? Autism is a trait, and in many ways, a gift. It deserves to be embraced. I don't "have" autism; I am autistic, just as I'm blue-eyed, Polish, a sister, an animal lover, and so on. I wouldn't be me without it :)

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Aspie Social Group!

For the second time, I went to a social group for people on the spectrum last Thursday. I'm really liking this group, as it's a lot of fun! I've already made some friends and enjoy talking to the awesome peeps there.

The group consists of 15-20 people, and is coordinated by a facilitator. We typically just chat and share what is going on in our lives, whether it be what's new at work, if we've done anything exciting lately, or have made any achievements. I also brought a friend this week, who really enjoyed it! Of course, a gathering would not be complete without pizza! Wherever they order it from is REALLY good :)

I'm really glad to have found a group like this. It's a good feeling to be united with like-minded people and to have made friends with whom I can relate to. I can't wait till next month's meeting!