I stumbled upon a post on Facebook asking "if you could have a do-over, what would it be?" This got me thinking, that my first thought was not to have let myself get to 310lbs. I then saw a comment that rings true to my philosophy, though. It was something along the lines of the person not changing a thing, because everything happens for a reason, both the good and the bad.
Sure, it would have been great to not have gotten up to over 300lbs. I wouldn't have any weight to lose, and I'd be healthier. However, with there being a reason behind everything that happens, I was meant to get to where I am. I, by no means, intend to let this be a permanent thing, but rather let it be that I've "gained" so much more than weight. I'd like to eventually get down to 200lbs. In the meantime, I accept myself as I am, and realize that I'm a work in progress. What could be the reason behind gaining such a large amount of weight? Well, part of it is my own doing. After all, I, along with my love of food, am the one who let myself get this way. What will I have to take home even when I drop off these pounds one day, though? Well, for one, I'll have more empathy. I'll know how it feels to be 300+ pounds, how hard it can be to find clothes in my size, and to have some of the health effects that come along with it. I'll walk past that person and be able to say to myself, "I've been there, and I know what it's like." I'll also have the knowledge that I overcame a very large - no pun intended - obstacle. If I can lose 100lbs, that's a feat in itself. I just need to focus on one day at a time, and work at it. It will be a reward in itself.
Then you take my other situation regarding my diagnoses. I sometimes wonder what life would have been like had I been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, anxiety and Asperger's at say, 5 instead of 25 for the former three and 31 for the latter. Could I have gotten the help I needed earlier? Could I have learned about myself from day 1 and avoided future struggles? No one knows. What I do know that is, again, it all happened for a reason. Perhaps, had I been diagnosed early on, I would have been thrown into a self-contained classroom and not allowed to bloom to my full potential. I, too, could have been doing times tables my senior year rather than being in an AP biology class and advanced German. I also overcame a lot of struggles that I didn't even know I had until after the fact. What an achievement that is! I may have struggled socially when I worked at McDonald's and didn't quite fit in, but I still made it work for 4 years. All without even knowing I fell within the threshold for such disorders. I have been taken advantage of by so-called "friends," however had I never been in that situation, I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. I know what to look out for in the future. Once again, it all boils down to one thing: everything I went through, I did so for a REASON.
Who knows what else life will throw at me. I know that I can lose weight, I can watch out for shady characters, and I can be proactive when I'm having struggles related to my diagnoses. I'm pretty happy the way things have turned out. While it hasn't all been rosy, I've had good things come out of it. Tell me some of your experiences! :)