Saturday, May 2, 2015

Trying to find a happy medium

Over the past week, some of the statuses I've been posting have been getting feedback from multiple angles. I'm trying to put my thoughts together, to make sense of it all. Well, here goes...

Basically, all I'm trying to do is encourage people to focus on the positives. I made a status stating that I don't appreciate when parents say they hate autism. Now, before you jump down my throat, please listen. I know it can be hard. I get it. I also realize that my experience with autism is MY experience...everyone else's is going to be different. I have some challenges that others don't, and others have challenges that I don't.

My point was that, amidst the struggles, I want to advocate for my fellow autistics and help put things in a positive light. What's so wrong about that? It's a good thing to be optimistic. At the same time, I don't want to discount anyone's struggles. Again, I understand that it isn't all sunshine and rainbows. You may wish that your child can do things that they may not be able to. At the same time, remind yourself of the things they can do. They may not be able to marry and have children, or own a house. What if they don't want any of these things, anyway? They also may not have to worry about paying bills, running a household, or many of the responsibilities others deal with on a day to day basis. There are pros and cons to both sides.

I can see why some people become frustrated with the cons. It can't be easy all of the time, for both the spectrumite or the parents. At the same time, all life experiences are valid. Just because one may not be able to do A, B or C doesn't mean that they're not happy! They live life in their own special way. Remember this, too...never say never! Before you start grieving for the things professionals say your child will never do, give them a chance to prove you wrong! Doctor's don't have crystal balls. The only way you can see what a child will or will not be able to do is to see for yourself, when the time comes. Always presume competence! :)

I hope this outs things into a better light. I want to end the battles, and try to look at things from both sides of the fence, all while being an advocate. This is only my opinion. I respect that others may see things from a different point of view. That's ok. For example, I have no way of seeing things from the perspective of a parent, because I've never been one. I can only give my own autistic, firsthand experience. Thank you for taking the time to read this :)

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