An Answer to a Question on Quora

I stumbled upon a the following question on Quora:

What are the biggest regrets that people with ADD/ADHD have?

I like the way my response turned out, so I'd like to share it! :)

My only real regret is the fact that I didn't start receiving help earlier. That said, I have faith that everything happens for a reason, and if that means not getting a diagnosis until I was 25, well, then that was exactly when it was meant to happen.

I often wonder what life would have been like had a been diagnosed in, say, preschool when my traits were first VERY obvious. I should add now that I'm also diagnosed with autism (Level I or formerly known as Asperger’s), OCD and anxiety. The latter two diagnoses also came at 25, and the autism one not until I was 31.

Now, although I endured some struggles, I managed to come out pretty successful. I have a Bachelor's in Social Work and three jobs in human services. I don't yet live on my own, however it doesn't bother me that I'm not yet ready. One thing at a time. Besides, this just gives me more time to work, make money, and take life at my own pace.
Had I been diagnosed earlier on, where would that leave me? Sure, I may have had an easier time with things, and known more about myself earlier on, however what if I just became another statistic? Another kid thrown into the special education program which is still in need of great reform today? I was in all mainstream classes, and demonstrated that I could handle them, given there were no diagnoses yet in sight. Had I been slapped with a label from the get go, perhaps my abilities would have been overshadowed by them (note: I don't like to look at my diagnoses as “labels” but rather “titles” as they have given me many answers at the times of diagnosis. However, in some cases, they are seen as only labels and people look for what they limit, rather than enable, in a person.) I've seen friends of mine go through the special education system. Friends who have outstanding levels of intellect and could easily have gotten a degree, however were set back because they were not awarded the same diploma as their peers. I feel that the system has failed them.

To reiterate my answer to the question, I feel that if there are any regrets I had, this may be the only one, but at the same time, I feel very fortunate to have gotten as far as I have. That combined with what I know know about myself, I now use to help others in similar situations :)

Happy New Year! :)

Hope everyone enjoyed ringing in the new year! I can check this holiday season off as a good one :)

I should start with a summary of what I did for Christmas Eve and Christmas. On Christmas Eve, my family and I went to mass and then enjoyed a pot roast dinner at my brother's house. We watched It's A Wonderful Life and relaxed for a while before going home to get a good night's sleep.

On Christmas morning, we woke up and enjoyed basking in the glow of the Christmas tree until my brother arrived around 10. We then ate breakfast and opened presents. Santa was good to me this year! My "big" gift had been Google Home which I had gotten just before Thanksgiving, and I received several other goodies: a Sonic shirt, autism necklace, Celtic mood ring, cash, gift cards, and a chameleon light that changes colors to match its surroundings.

After relaxing for a while, it was time for the traditional dinner at my grandma's house. We nommed on a delicious turkey dinner, followed by presents. I got some more gift cards, a few stuffed animals and a Samsung wireless charger for my phone. Next were some of my grandma's cookies and chatting amongst us. I spent the night at my grandma's as is tradition :)

I then had the "mega uber crazy super busy week." Not only did I work my usual full-time job, but I also worked two days at my new part-time job in their vacation camp program. The day shifts were back to back with the overnights, so I was a bit of a zombie :P It was fun, though. We took the kids bowling on Friday, and they had a blast! Saturday morning, I came home and slept like a baby.

For New Year's Eve, we went to my grandma's for snacks and lobster tails before heading to my brother's for chili and more snacks. I made my traditional Lit'l Smokies sausages wrapped in crescent rolls (pigs in blankets). Before we knew it, it was time to count down and ring in the new year! We relaxed and talked for a while, and then I went back to my grandma's, where I am writing this now, to spend the night again.

So what will this year bring? Hopefully good things. I have a good feeling about it. Resolutions are something I don't make, as I know I'll only be setting myself up for failure. I'd rather just focus on one day at a time, and if I decide I want to make any goals, I'll do them on my own timeline and in my own way. All I know is that life is pretty darn good as I know it, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Here's to a great year! :)

Thankful

Of the many things in life I have to be thankful for, one that will always stand out is my autism diagnosis.

Imagine that you've spent your entire life being a little different from the rest. You try to click with others at a young age, but something just doesn't gel. You spend your teen years watching everyone else suddenly change and become interested in different things from you, and you can't wrap your head around it. You spend your 20s learning about yourself, yet there is still a missing piece.

Then you stumble upon autism. Not for the first time, as you've heard of it, and you THINK you know what it means. Then you are reintroduced  to the concept after several years, but this time it has a whole new meaning for you. It describes so many of the things you've experienced throughout your life. It sounds like YOU.

You then do a lot of research, only to find that the more you delve into the topic, the more of yourself you see in it all. After a few years, you schedule that fateful appointment. You're almost positive you're autistic, but there's still that tiny glimmer of a doubt: what if it isn't autism, after all? You've incorporated it as part of your identity by this point.

Next come the appointments. The questionnaires. The interview with the psychologist. Finally, the day arrives. The day that decides whether or not everything you've learned about yourself is on point. You brace yourself for the answer. Are you autistic, or not? Your psychologist reviews the information, and finally...alas! He tells you that you present as someone on the autism spectrum!

You feel a sense of validation. Your suspicions have been confirmed. Everything you've come to know as a part of who you are HAS indeed been a part of you all along. Congratulations! You're autistic and now you have an explanation for your differences and own unique operating system.

Two years ago, this moment that I will never forget happened. For that I will be forever thankful.

One of the Best Weeks Ever

Well, it's been a heck of a week. I don't remember the last time I was this busy, yet had so much fun! I'm very grateful to have reached my dream of being a part of the organization I have wanted to for so long!

Today I had my driving test, which consisted of pulling into 3 parking spots. Easy peasy. Then I attended a training on the data entry system the agency utilizes. I am already pretty familiar with it, as I use it at my relief position already.

Then came the best part of the day: I got to meet the kids I'll be working with! They were super nice, and most of them were really bubbly! There were about 6 in the after school program today, and are middle school age, save for one who is about 7. They seem like a happy and fun bunch :) The other staff were very welcoming, too.

I really feel at home where I'm at. It's great to be working with a community of people with whom I am a member of. It's a wonderful feeling being both on the spectrum myself as well as knowing I'm helping others like me. It's like I can see things from both perspectives, and it's really cool! I look forward to being a member of the team!

New Jobber!

Well, after much perseverance, I scored a job at my local autism agency! Yes, the one I attend Aspie group at :) I had a great feeling about it when I went through both of my interviews, and on the day after my second day interview, I got the call!

Today started training, which was fantastic. I really, REALLY love the philosophy of this agency, which is that autism is something to be celebrated rather than cured. If you know me, you know that this is HUGE in my book. The agency focuses on embracing people for who they were meant to be, and allowing their many gifts to shine. We had two trainers, one of them being the head of the training department. Remember that Asperger's presentation I did last summer? He was the one with whom I presented!

The training started with some fun exercises. Everyone was asked to introduce themselves and state their favorite food (mine being pizza, of course). We also broke down into groups and discussed what led us to seek a career in the field. I explained to the other two people in my circle how I first became interested in pursuing a position with people who have developmental disabilities. I mentioned that my best friend moved into a group home when she was 19, and that after hanging out at her house and getting a sense of the staff's duties, I learned it was something I'd love to do myself! I then went on to discuss how I've been in said field for 12 years now, and after learning I'm on the spectrum myself, I really have a passion for working with others on the spectrum.

We broke for dinner, and I went to the restaurant across the street from the office, which has great hot dogs and fries! Another girl from training happened to have the same idea, so we sat together. We had a nice chat. Once we got back, we did a really fun exercise in which we had to try to solve a word search while the lights in the room were flashing and kind of loud music was playing. To add to the challenge, the puzzle was in Dutch! I managed to find 3 words. The purpose of the exercise was to give us an example of what sensory overload feels like. This was even a good learning experience for me, because although I am autistic, sensory overload isn't something I really experience. I now will have this to keep in mind if a person with whom I am working is experiencing an overload. We also watched a film by Carly Fleischmann titled "Carla's Cafe" in which she gives a firsthand account of what life is like for her.

Lastly, we were given information about the different autistic traits, and talked about the fact that many people believe that vaccines cause autism. The head of the training department even told us that it has been proven that vaccines indeed do NOT cause autism, and described Dr. Andrew Wakefield (who made up the false claim) as a "bad man." I agreed wholeheartedly! :) He then stated that at this organization, they don't focus on what causes autism, which I also was very happy to hear. They instead focus on the individual themselves. I interjected with a few pieces of information and the fact I feel that everyone is born to be who they are for a reason. To make things a little interesting, we even had a fire drill! It was a good thing today happened to be a beautiful day.

I can't wait to go to training again tomorrow and Friday. I've always known that this is an agency with whom I've wanted to work, but I know feel that it's a definite that I'm in the right place! :)

Happy Halloween!

What's everyone doing for Halloween? Well, to start the day off on a not-so-great note, my grandma and I went for blood work, which isn't at all an issue in itself...however, add to that the fact that after cleaning out the whole back of my car, my paper order was nowhere to be found. Thus, I wasn't able to get my blood work today. I'll have to call my doctor and have them fax the order over, as I have no clue where in the universe my order is. It's probably wherever my birth certificate is hiding. Gotta love having executive functioning deficits!

I'm now getting my PPD for my new job read, which I meant do do yesterday but totally forgot about until I glanced at my arm late last night. Luckily, I have until 11am today! After that, my grandma and I are going to enjoy a wonderful breakfast at Cracker Barrel :) I haven't been there in ages!

Next is a trip to Aldi, which I wasn't counting on, but it is what it is. Anyone who knows me knows how much I loathe grocery shopping, especially when I already have a million and one things to do. Then I'll squeeze a shower in the mix somewhere, and go to pick up and cash my check from my other relief job.

Last but not least, the fun will start! My BFF and I are going to grab dinner at Denny's, and then see Boo! A Madea Halloween! Afterwards, we will imbibe on plenty of candy and other munchies. It will be a fun time! :D

The Dog Days of Summer

It's hard to believe that this summer has been flying by so fast! It has been a fulfilling and fun one, though. I've made sure to make the most of it, as always :)

I've gotten to the pool, albeit only a couple times. This is due to my heel, which continues to give me pain and prevents me from doing a whole lot. I found out a couple months ago that I most likely have torn ligaments with bursitis underneath. I go to see the orthopedic surgeon in October. Wish me luck!

My family has taken our boat out a good number of times. I've been to the Niagara River and Canandaigua. Cruising on the boat has always been a sort of therapy for me. There's something about plugging my headphones in, and the wind blowing against my face, complete with the occasional splash, that I find extremely calming.

I attended an Asperger's presentation by Rudy Simone last weekend. She was amazing, and gave a very clear glimpse into life as an Aspie. My parents really enjoyed it as well.  I made a couple new friends, too!

One of said friends co-facilitates an Aspie group in Rochester called Square Pegs. I attended last Thursday, and it was well worth the hour and a half drive! We met at a restaurant called Lindburgers, which was amazing. I made some more new friends. Everyone was impressed that I came all the way from Buffalo!

Next Saturday will be the Rochester (yes, we like it there a lot) Clothesline Festival, which will have art vendors and musical performances. I will be working my other job next Sunday. The following weekend, my family is going away to lake Oneida for a long weekend! We will be taking the boat :)

It's safe to say that this summer was a good one. How has everyone else's been this year?